Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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