Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
