I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
