finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
