I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
