Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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