Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If I die, sorry about rent.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
