can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
