I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
