it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
