You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
