i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
