There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
