We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
