I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
