Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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