OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
