yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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