tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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