Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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