Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
