in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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