I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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