i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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