Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
