I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
this hospital has no fireball
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
