did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
PANTIES FOUND
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