At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
