mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Buhtt sex?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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