you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
