garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
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