Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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