final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
