but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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