If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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