she was so not down for the gang bang
I think im going to throw up on grandma
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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