bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
