I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
