forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
