What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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