The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
