either way he was missing a nipple.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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