Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
