You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
