omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
NoShamevember. You game?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
