dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
