One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
