does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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