I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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