i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
