He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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