Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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