Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
