I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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