I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize