She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
