i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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