Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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