I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
