hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
operation harelip BJ is a go
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize